


Baby Q

by Captain Natasha Riker-Troi (textsfrompicard)



Series: The Adventures of Natasha Riker-Troi [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek - Various Authors, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Titan
Genre: Caretaking, F/M, Gen, Parenthood, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24191902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/textsfrompicard/pseuds/Captain%20Natasha%20Riker-Troi
Summary: Inspired by the ‘caretaking and superpowers with William T. Riker’ prompt I received courtesy of the Star Trek prompt generator (http://generatorland.com/usergenerator.aspx?id=25103): a fun little story in which Captain Riker is home alone with baby Tasha when Q of Enterprise fame shows up and decides to give her the powers of the Q. Enjoy!
Relationships: William Riker/Deanna Troi
Series: The Adventures of Natasha Riker-Troi [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732120
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Baby Q

**Author's Note:**

> Historian's note: This story takes place circa February 2382.
> 
> Fun fact: The 'Cowboy Ralph' story mentioned here is referred to in the Lost Era novel 'The Art of the Impossible' as Deanna's favorite Western series and Ian Troi's least favorite (yes, he read them over and over to his daughter anyway :p).

“We’ll be fine.” The last words of fools, little children, and overconfident fathers.

It had all seemed so clear-cut, so simple, in the beginning. The Riker family had been enjoying a nice, quiet evening in their quarters when one of Deanna’s patients had called her over the comm, sounding frantic. She of course had to rush to put out the psychological fire, leaving seven-month-old Tasha in the care of Captain William T. Riker. He’d reassured Deanna that he wouldn’t have any problems, that he would have no trouble taking care of the baby by himself for a few hours. Total piece of cake, he’d said. Like taking candy from a baby, if you’ll pardon the expression.

Then Q showed up.

Riker had been sitting at his desk, working on some figurative paperwork on his monitor while baby Tasha sat on his lap. Then came a flash of light, and the Enterprise’s old nemesis was sitting cross-legged where the monitor had been.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s the _capitan_ now.”

“Q!” Riker leaped to his feet, knocking over his _raktajino_ even as he managed to scoop the baby up with both arms and hold her tightly against him. “What—?”

“— do you want?’ Q rolled his eyes. “What is it about that extra pip on your collar that compels you people to ask the same dumb questions over and—?”

“Q!”

“All right, fine.” Q sighed. “I merely came to congratulate you on becoming a father. Are you happy now?”

Riker’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve been a father for more than half a year now. Why have you just now decided to show up?”

“Well, ordinarily, the mating rituals of lesser beings would be of absolutely no interest to me,” admitted Q. “But since I became a father myself, I’ve taken something of an interest in the subject. Why, just the other moment the missus and I were reminiscing on our q’s childhood while we were watching Beverly breastfeed Jean-Luc’s whelp—.”

“What?”

“— and it got me to thinking: how would an ordinary human parent cope if _their_ child had the powers of the Q? We thought parenting would be easy for us, since we _are_ omnipotent after all, but little q _still_ ran us ragged. So how much more interesting would it be, I thought, to watch a human parent wrangle with a Q baby? Ergo, I—.”

“ _No_ , Q,” Riker said firmly. “You’re not giving my baby Q powers. It was bad enough when you gave them to me. At least I had some self-control. But we’re talking about a _baby_ here. She hasn’t even been toilet trained yet and you’re just going to give her virtually unlimited power with almost no sense of responsibility?”

“Well, obviously there are _rules_ ,” said Q exasperatedly. “The missus insisted upon it. For one thing, you will both be shielded from mortal danger for the duration of the experiment, which will be one of your hours. For another… well, I guess that’s it. We do want this to be as realistic as possible, after all. Enjoy!” He snapped his fingers and disappeared.

“Wait just a minute!” Riker snapped. But Q had already gone. He looked down at baby Tasha, still nestled in his arms. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes, warbling vaguely as she reached out a tiny hand for his beard. He smiled and lifted her a little closer to his face. She patted his beard and laughed melodiously. Riker began to relax slightly. _Maybe this won’t be so—_

Tasha chose that moment to start crying hysterically. Before Riker knew what was happening, the captain’s uniform onesie and diaper Tasha was wearing had both vanished. Actually, the diaper hadn’t vanished. Riker could smell it in the next room.

He raised an eyebrow at Tasha. “Do you think you could manage to put on a fresh diaper yourself?”

Tasha giggled, and suddenly they were standing on the outside of the saucer section, staring out into the depths of warp space. Riker felt a moment of vertigo mixed with horror until he realized that he and Tasha were both still breathing. In fact, Tasha seemed to be having the time of her life. Laughing, she stretched her arms out in an effort to reach the passing stars. She looked back at Riker expectantly, as if inviting her father to join the fun.

Riker forced a smile to his face. “Okay, this has been fun, sweetheart. Do you think we could go back inside now?”

Tasha smiled, and then they were inside… a castle overlooking what appeared to be an enormous, oddly rectangular mountain range with a staggering breadth of colors. Riker looked around, wondering where Tasha had brought them now, until he noticed enormous lettering on the side of one of the mountains which read: _NMRT._

_Oh my god,_ Riker thought. _Those are Tasha’s initials. Those are her blocks. This is her toy castle… this is what happens when I’m not specific enough in my requests._

“Tasha, sweetheart?” he asked softly, running a hand over the back of the baby’s head. “Do you think you could make us normal sized again?”

Tasha blinked and regarded him silently. She reached out and patted his nose once with her hand, which was accompanied by the reappearance of her onesie and, Riker noticed, a fresh diaper. “Well, that’s a start,” he said. Tasha giggled, and once more they found themselves in an entirely different location.

This time they were floating in what appeared to be a seemingly endless ocean in all directions. They were breathing despite having no scuba equipment, and they were maintaining the same position despite exerting no visible effort to do so. Tasha laughed and spun around wildly, her small body doing somersaults in the aquatic void. Riker hastily reached out and caught her in his arms before she could be caught in a current or disappear on a whim, inadvertently leaving him behind. “Well, where are we now?” he inquired of his daughter. “Are we back to our regular sizes again?”

In response, Tasha scrunched up her little face and began to wail boisterously. Suddenly Riker found himself and Tasha flashing between different locations, which were zooming by too quickly for him to determine what each one was. A snowy mountaintop became a field of mooing cows became the inside of a Jeffries tube became a vine-ridden jungle, and all the while Tasha continued to scream at the top of her lungs.

“Sweetheart?” He raised his voice in order to hear himself over Tasha’s incessant wailing. “Do you think maybe we could stop for a second? I’m starting to get dizzy.”

The rapidly shifting landscape suddenly halted to reveal a dusty street lined with dingy, shuttered buildings. It was apparently deserted, and Riker wondered just why they had stopped here of all places. At least Tasha had stopped crying.

“I’m callin’ ya out, Ralph!”

Riker spun around just in time to see an authentic Western cowboy, complete with hat, boots, and six-shooters, step out from behind a barrel. His hands were in position just above the guns, fingers twitching. “This town ain’t big enough fer the both of us. Ya got ’til the count of three, an’ then we’ll shoot. Got it?”

Riker looked behind him to see who the cowboy was talking to. There was no one there.

“Hey, I’m talkin’ t’ ya, Ralph! Ya ain’t gonna weasel yer way outta this one!”

Realization dawned in Riker’s mind. _Oh no. This is one of those Cowboy Ralph stories Deanna’s been reading to Tasha… and if I remember this one correctly, Cowboy Ralph only survives this encounter because he’s wearing a bulletproof vest underneath his jacket. But I’ve got nothing except an omnipotent baby._

He raised one of his hands slowly in the air, using the other one to hug Tasha closer to his chest. “Don’t shoot!” he called. “I surrender!”

“Surrender? Where d’ ya think we are, St. Louis? Ain’t no surrender out here, Ralph. Now stand and face me like a man!”

“Can’t you see I’ve got a baby here?” Riker hollered. “I don’t want to give you any trouble. Just let us go on our way and then all of this can be forgotten!”

“A _baby?_ What the hell’d ya bring a baby to a gunfight for?”

Riker started to explain that he didn’t come here on purpose, but the cowboy cut him off. “Enough talkin’! Draw in one— two— three— _now!_ ”

Riker dove for cover, twisting his body so that his back was between the cowboy and Tasha while he cradled her tightly against his chest with both hands. His knees hit the… carpet?

The Wild West scene was gone. Instead, they were safely back in their quarters, with no gun-toting cowboys in sight. Riker breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re not going to try anything like that again, are you, Tasha? Tasha?”

He looked down to see Tasha fast asleep, her thumb firmly in her mouth and sucking away peacefully. Riker watched her apprehensively for a few more minutes, expecting them to be whisked away to God knows where at any moment. But there was no change; the baby continued sleeping, the room around them continued existing. Riker dared to begin to hope that maybe his ordeal was over. “Q?” he whispered, fearing to wake Tasha. “Q? Are you there? Is this over?”

“Of course not.” Riker looked over to see Q’s head poking out of the wall.

“How much longer is this going to last?” Riker exclaimed.

“Why, the rest of your life, of course.”

Riker’s eyes widened. He stammered for a moment, flabbergasted. “Now wait a minute. You said this would only last—!”

“I’m not talking about the experiment, you ninny,” Q interrupted, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “That’s over now. Tasha is just an ordinary baby again, and the missus and I have had our fun. I meant the parenting— constantly monitoring where she is and what she’s doing, worrying about what she’s up to when she’s out of sight, being in a state of continuous concern about her welfare even after she grows up and moves away, experiencing her every joy and heartache a million times more strongly than even your own feelings. Try thinking about _that_ the next time you wonder what I’m up to.”

With a snap of his fingers, Q vanished. Riker looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms, reflecting on what Q had said. _Sometimes I wonder if Q is only pretending to be an immature, arrogant ass. Now I’m sure curious as hell to meet that son of his._

The door to the corridor swished open to reveal a tired-looking Deanna Troi. She smiled wearily at the sight of Riker and Tasha. “As usual, Crewman Verrill was making a mountain out of a molehill.” She greeted her husband and daughter with a kiss, then snaked her arms around them in an embrace, resting her head against Riker's shoulder. “I assume you were able to hold down the fort here?”

“Sure,” said Riker. “Piece of cake.”

Deanna pulled back slightly and looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me?”

“Because there’s something I’m not telling you.”

Deanna folded her arms and looked pointedly at him, waiting.

Riker sighed. “Okay, okay. I guess you could say I received a lesson in parenthood from an… unlikely source.”

“And just what does that mean?”

“Well…”


End file.
